


Wasn't Made to Play This Game

by sabers



Category: Star Wars
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Trans Male Character, perhaps the first of its kind, trans!han
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-21 05:28:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6040003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabers/pseuds/sabers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Han has a secret he never thought he would have to share.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wasn't Made to Play This Game

The Death Star has been destroyed.

That excited Han, even though he never meant to get caught up in the rebellion’s antics in the first place. He was probably more excited because Luke was excited. His friend’s eyes gleamed as he looked around at the pilots whp rooted for him and his friends who had successfully completed their mission.

After a much needed celebration and the awards granted to Luke and Han for their exceptional work in the mission, the trio finally parted ways, each going to their own respective rooms. Leia went off further into the base, and Han and Luke retreated to the Falcon for the night.

\---

Han entered his room as he let out a long sigh and sat himself down on his bed. It had been a long day, and he had to decide his place in the galaxy, whether it was with the rebels or on his own. He simply shook his head, exhausted, and slowly slid his vest off his shoulders.

_Can I really leave Luke and Leia like that?_ he asked himself, letting out another raspy sigh. _The rebels need you._ He ignored his thoughts and slowly pulled off his shirt and threw it off to a corner of the room.

Under his chest were faded horizontal scars, still prominent against his toned skin. He gently ran his fingers over the scars, as he reminisced about a time when the scars weren’t there, a time when Han wasn’t as happy, a time when…

The door to Han’s room swung open suddenly, which gave him no time to react. Luke stood in the doorway.

“Hey, Han,” he started, his body leaned against the doorway. “I was just wondering if…”

His eyes drifted down towards Han’s chest.

_Shit._

Han stood up and covered his chest by crossing his arms over it. “Kid, it’s late, why are you…”

Luke’s facial expression immediately dropped, looking more worried as he walked towards Han, his sentence halted as his body tensed up. Luke slowly laid a hand against Han’s arms and gently tugged down.

“Hey, kid, it’s alright,” Han started, his words lodged in his throat. “It’s okay, really.”

Luke wasn’t convinced, as he looked up at the older man with his worried expression, his hand still gently pressed down against Han’s arms. Han let out a defeated sigh and dropped his arms to his sides and revealed his chest to Luke. Luke stared at the scars, his anxiety lingered on his face. He slowly raised a hand up, but quickly pulled it back, probably trying to decide if he should feel or not.

“Han, what’s this?” Luke murmured, his voice very soft. Han just nodded gently, and Luke gently placed his fingertips on the scars, lightly tracing over the lines on his skin.

“Luke…” he started, but his words got caught in his throat. He held himself back, afraid of what he thought, afraid if he would tell, afraid of losing his friend. As Han’s thoughts sped through his mind, Luke shifted his attention from his chest to his eyes, obviously worried, maybe afraid.

“I-I’m not like normal guys, Luke,” he said as he let out a forced chuckle. Luke could sense the fear in the older man, and then resorted himself to just nodding in response as Han continued.

“I was born…” he started, before he found himself stuck. His heart raced in his chest, and the words lodged in his throat like rocks as his breathing became quicker. “I’m transgender, Luke,” he finally blurted out as he stepped back from the younger man. He shook gently, feeling nothing but fear as he witnessed Luke try to process what he just heard. “People thought I was a girl as a kid but I’m not,” he let out nervously, his body wracked with anxiety. He didn’t know how to do this, he was never supposed to do this. “I was born a girl but now I’m a guy,” he added and backed up a little farther. The description felt wrong to Han, but it was probably the only way Luke could understand. He was scared, he was so scared, he-

His thoughts were interrupted as Luke wrapped his arms tightly around Han, his head buried into Han’s neck. Han completely stood still for a second, surprised at this reaction. This wasn’t what he expected at all. He sighed happily as a tear rolled down his face slowly.

“I was so afraid… afraid you would think I’m crazy or something…” he began and he rambled on about all his anxieties as Luke rubbed the older man’s back gently.

“It’s okay, really. I don’t mind,” Luke whispered as he pulled them closer to each other. “I still love you.”

Han’s heart stopped in that moment. He smiled like never before and laughed a little bit too. The tears started to fall now, out of happiness.

“I love you too, kid,” he whispered back. He ran his hand through the sandy blonde hair and kissed the boy’s forehead.

_I can’t leave them_ , he thought. _I can’t leave Luke._

**Author's Note:**

> so yes, i love trans guy han he is my entire life blood and i love it,, trans luke is good but trans han just kills the man  
> anyways my tumblr is retrosaber,, what else do ppl put here. i dunno. hope the fic was good.


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